Why Resilience Has Its Limits
The Bulky Coat Dilemma
There's no shortage of books and articles extolling the virtues of resilience. However, as life becomes increasingly nonlinear, these traditional mantras about resilience may not carry the same weight as they once did.
To illustrate, I share below a personal story from my days of growing up in Ireland. Who would have thought that an oversized coat would have taught me more about the limits of resilience than any self-help book?
Back in my school days, growing up in Ireland, I had this oversized, bulky coat—which was about as stylish as a potato sack. With each attempt to leave "the sack" at home, Dad would always be standing there at the door, with his usual:
"It's a four-season day today, boys. You're taking the coat!"
As if we had any choice in the matter!
Each morning, I'd embark on my 30-minute trek to school. In the space of half an hour, the Dublin weather might have changed three or four times, swinging from breezy drizzle to sunshine to hailstones, back to heavy rain, and finally, a chill wind.
I despised that coat. Rather than protecting me against the vagaries of the Irish weather, this mammoth sack ended up being a constant burden—I had to take it off and put it on again and again.
It wasn't something I could simply roll up and stuff into a bag like the stuff we wear these days. Instead, I was forced to wrap it around my waist like a makeshift hula skirt, turning each step to school into a lousy dance move.
It didn't go unnoticed. As I sneaked past my teacher head down into the classroom, I heard the usual wisecrack:
"So how was Stalingrad, Trevor?"
Years later, that single piece of cumbersome clothing has taught me more about the limits of resilience than anything else.
Go to any bookstore, and you'll find a vast array of books on resilience, grit, and mental toughness as some superhuman quality.
While these qualities are essential, they're overrated. We treat them like a giant parka, hoping they will shield us from life's uncertainties. But often, they become big, bulky, and clumsy.
For the outdoor enthusiasts among you, the concept of "layering" will no doubt be familiar: a base layer wicks moisture from your skin, an intermediate insulation layer provides warmth, and a light outer shell protects you from the elements.
This layering strategy offers flexibility in the great outdoors. It allows us to quickly make adjustments on the fly by adding or removing easily storable layers as conditions change.
That bulky coat of my youth was a perfect metaphor for the approach many of us take toward resilience. Yes, it's essential, but sometimes it feels like too much when what we really need is mental flexibility and adaptability.
If we're not careful, resilience can feel like the heavy coat we lug around, hoping it'll protect us from life's ups and downs. Yet, this coat often slows us down, making it harder to move freely and adapt quickly.
This is where the beauty of Agilism comes into play. It's like the art of layering in outdoor weather by having multiple lightweight options at your disposal, ready to be deployed or retracted as conditions change.
Agilism offers a much more nuanced, dynamic approach that aligns with the forces of change rather than resisting it, as the forces of resilience so often imply.
